BMX Bandits

BMX bikes aren't just for kids, right? No, but maybe the adults who ride them never lose their 'sense of youth', as evidenced by the following graphic examples of bike molestation purveyed by our twisted workmate James. We apologise in advance for the lack of subtlety, but hey, singlespeeders aren't exactly known for decorum either.

Apparently the owner of the bike is a huge man with some anger issues... could this push him over the edge?



Ned Flanders would be proud of the use of Spokey Dokeys.

Cool bike goes to uncool home...

We get a lot of old shitters coming through the doors here at the shop, most of them uninspiring 'racing bikes' from the 70's and 80's. But last week this one was wheeled in by a kinda cute young lass with her hipster douchebag accomplice.

This really is a cool old bike, a BSA Stronglight, God knows where the young lady dug it up from (I'm sure she told us, but we were too amused by her weird little friend).

I'll let Josh loose on the poor fella's 'dress sense' or lack thereof.

People like this annoy me immensely; it's becoming increasingly difficult to hold back from verbally whipping them down in public. It's not enough that I have no appreciation whatsoever of their dress sense. It bewilders me that people have created a style out of looking as ridiculous as possible and go about their business thinking that they're cutting edge. The douchebag referred to above was wearing girls jeans that were too big for him, required braces (a 19 year old wearing suspenders? give me a break!) and tapered adsurdly from the knee down to his skinny ankles; his shirt was buttoned all the way to the collar and accentuated his lack of any apparent muscle tone; he was wearing shoes that were obviously bought at an op shop because they would go with his look, although in real life a 90 year old had probably owned them all his life and recently died in them; worst of all, his foppish hair poked out from beneath a blue beret worn at a jaunty angle.

This crap truly sickens me. Brett politely asked the girl how her bike was running, to which she replied that it was great, although the brakes didn't work very well at all; this wasn't seen to be a serious problem though, since the bike was only getting ridden around slowly on the flat. Come on. This is tantamount to admitting that it's just another accessory to be seen posing with. I could rant till my fingers cramp up on this one, but lunchtime's over and I have to get back to the freak show. Back to you, Brett.

Josh

How can I possibly top that? And here I was thinking that I was the king of intolerance... hail to the new king, Josh!

Welcome to Hell...

...Population, Casio! He being the man who stated "brakes are a sin" found himself knelt in the confessional box. Said box being On Yer Bike, where his deemed penance was purchase one front road brake, install on fixie, eat own words. The unfortunate heathen was struck down from above on the motorway by a motorist of the apocalypse, and salvation was sought at the altar of the Church of OYB. Holding limp, shredded tubulars in his stigmata-scarred hands, he bowed his head in shame and dragged his cloven hooves out of there. Your soul is ours, Casey. Look over your shoulder out there.

Mikey fixes up

Our workmate Mike finally got off his old Sakae SS roady and plumped for a 07 Langster, same as the one I ride but ten sizes smaller! So far he's lovin the fixed gear experience, after he remembered he couldn't coast down Nevay Road and nearly got pitched over the bars on his maiden voyage. He even cranked it up Brooklyn Hill on his way home one day, something that I haven't had the energy to attempt as yet. But if Owen can get up there in 48/17 after Friday night beers every week, then I should at least have a crack. Keep pedalling, Mikey!